DisappoinTV

So out here in the Mountain Time Zone, the Red Sox - Athletics's Opening Day game began at 4 am. That's just about too late to stay up and too early to wake up. No matter, I thought to myself, I have good ol' DirecTV with my trusty DVR. I can simply record the game and watch it the next morning over Frosted Flakes.

You can understand my confusion when I awoke to find that I had recorded three straight hours of "WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY - SEARCHING FOR SATELLITE SIGNAL - PLEASE DO NOT CALL AS WE ARE AWARE OF THE PROBLEM". Sure enough, as I fast forwarded from one hour to the next, I discovered that not even one pitch had been recorded. Evidently this was a problem nationwide.

Calm down, I thought to myself. I can avoid the internet, ESPN, and the news this morning until the game is rebroadcast at noon. Then I can just shut off my phone and enjoy the game as if it was live. This sounded like a good idea, so I ran with it. I made sure to keep the TV off, the phone upstairs, and the computer far away from me throughout the morning. And as the minutes slowly crept towards noon, I started getting excited about Opening Day. Sure, DirecTV screwed me, but good ol' ESPN will rebroadcast the game and I'll get to enjoy it all as if nothing ever went wrong! And when noon finally arrived, and I sat down with my noodles to watch baseball - meaningful baseball - for the first time since last October when I was at the World Series, I recoiled in horror at what I saw. While ESPN was going over the starting lineups, I glanced at the little scroll bar along the bottom of the screen, which read "AL: Boston 6, Oakland 5 - Final". These network executives are worse than Jack Cust with an 0-2 count.