It was a great thought, though

Gino Castignoli made two mistakes: You don't tell anyone about it until construction is complete and you don't bury an Ortiz jersey, you bury a Dave Roberts jersey.

Great Moments in Poorly Placed Advertising Banners

We did not want a belly scratcher

Yorvit Torrealba (a/k/a Yorvit Terribleba, Yorvit Horribleba, Youswing Andamissa, The Anti-Clutch), Colorado Rockies starting Catcher, is beginning this season much where he left the last one: in a 3 for 22 rut with goose eggs in every category (although one of his hits was a double). That's zero walks, zero hr's, zero rbi's, zero runs, and zero stolen bases, for those of you keeping score at home. The guy's OPS is .318 for god's sake. A guy in one of my fantasy leagues (who must not have known much about him) actually added him to his lineup - and it only took about 10 days before that sour taste of Torrealba made this manager drop him in favor of Mr. Anyone Else, Catcher. Ok, the season just started. April is typically a pitcher's month and his bat may not be hot yet. That's fair. So let's take a look at his stats from 2007, when he played in 113 games and had over 400 plate appearances:

In 2007, Torrealba hit .255 with 47 runs, 47 rbi's, 8 hr's, and 73 strikeouts. He had only 31 extra-base hits (including his HR's), but then again he had only 101 hits all season. His refined patience at the plate resulted in 34 walks and his OPS was under .700 - although he did steal two bags. Those numbers are pretty bad on their face, but let's break down the numbers to see how he was in certain situations:

With no one on base and no outs, his average rose to a solid .330. He hit half of his home runs (4) with no one on and no one out, and he only struck out 10 times in over 100 plate appearances in this situation. With the bases empty, regardless of how many outs there were, he hit a respectable .283. Of course, as everyone in baseball knows, this situation is one of the least clutch moments in the game.

However, as we'll see in these next stats, the more clutch the moment was, the worse he performed. With runners on base, he hit only .227. With runners in scoring position, he hit only .201. And finally, with runners in scoring position and two outs, arguably one of the most clutch moments for any hitter, Torrealba belted a whopping .151 batting average, striking out 22 times in only 73 at bats. And although we don't have a large sample to pull our stats from his performance in October, his career batting average in the postseason is .238. Now you see why I call him The Anti-Clutch.

Now let's take a look at his supposed defense that was much touted by the national press during the NLCS and World Series, when I'd put money down that Joe Buck & Co. had never heard of Torrealba prior to October '07. Last year, Torrealba ranked 21st among 29 qualifying catchers, throwing out only 17.6% of base stealers. He failed to stop 23 wild pitches and allowed an additional 4 passed balls. His fielding percentage was a solid .991, but 61 runners stole bags on him. Overall, his defense as judged by Range Factor was slightly below average for Catchers per 9 innings: Torrealba's RF was 7.07 while the league average was 7.39.

Memo to Dan O'Dowd: Torrealba has got to go. He's been given plenty of opportunity and done nothing with it. Maybe it's time to give Chris Iannetta a full season to see how he performs. Or maybe the Rox can rip off the Astros again and trade them Jeff Francis straight up for J.R. Towles and Felipe Paulino. Either way, we have a gaping hole at the C position and we need to fix this if we're planning on ever bring a world championship to Colorado in the near future. Yorvit, if you're reading this, I'm sure you're a nice enough guy - but you definitely should have taken that offer from the Mets.

Absolut Nonsense

Apparently trying to gain favor with those Mexican consumers unfamiliar with Guadalupe Hidalgo, Absolut Vodka unveiled a new ad campaign showing a crudely (and inaccurately) redrawn border of Mexico that includes all the lands lost and sold to the US after the Mexican-American War of the late 1840's. Evidently, Absolut believes that this land rightfully belongs to Mexico, and those Mexican's who agree should imbibe their vodka. Anyone who has passed sixth-grade history has learned that almost every country that has ever existed in this world has seen its border expand or compress based on wars and land-sales. Thus the problem with Absolut's cherry-picking of history.

We all know how chic and cliche it has become to criticize the world's sole superpower, and America-Envy is rampant across Europe and Asia. But how telling that Absolut would have to go back over 150 years to find a war in which the US actually kept the land it had won. Maybe the Swedish company is still pissed about Finland and is just commiserating with our southern amigos. Thanks for the history lesson, Absolut, but I'll stick with my Belvedere and Tonic.

Look for liberal cities to ban them in bars

In a much more grim condemnation of cellular telephones than this, a new study finds that using cell phones over a period of 10 years can double the risk of brain cancer. In fact, the study goes on to claim that the use of cell phones is actually more dangerous than smoking. I'm not really sure what to make of this, so I'll let you read the full story and make up your own mind - the part of your mind that hasn't been ravaged by the heinous rotting pestilence care of AT&T and Sprint.

"Hard Work" Loses All Meaning

Paris Hilton, the slow-witted hotel heiress, earns the Fool's Platinum Quote of the Month for March, with this gem:

"I work very hard and I've built this empire on my own. I think this is an inspiration for a lot of girls out there."

Senility from the Far East

The two-game series that kicked off the '08 MLB season was a little... off. It seemed like the whole thing was a little surreal, and it had nothing to do with the fact that the games started at 4 am local time. We saw a 28-year-old white rookie from Minnesota walking to the plate with 50 Cent in the background yelling "If I can't do it, homey it can't be done..." We had Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz standing back at the plate and admiring long balls that turned out to be outs or doubles. We had guys like Brandon Moss and Mark Ellis hitting the long ball, and guys like Travis Buck and David Ortiz going oh-fer in both games. And then, to cap it off, we had the play-by-play (with some bonus color commentary) by one Gary Thorne. It wasn't bad enough that the guy was calling batters by their wrong name or getting the counts backwards (0 strikes and 2 balls is not an 0 and 2 count). The worst on-air commentary I've heard in a long time happened this morning when old man Thorne apparently confused Jose Canseco with Jason Giambi. Check out the video and full story over at Awful Announcing.

DisappoinTV

So out here in the Mountain Time Zone, the Red Sox - Athletics's Opening Day game began at 4 am. That's just about too late to stay up and too early to wake up. No matter, I thought to myself, I have good ol' DirecTV with my trusty DVR. I can simply record the game and watch it the next morning over Frosted Flakes.

You can understand my confusion when I awoke to find that I had recorded three straight hours of "WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY - SEARCHING FOR SATELLITE SIGNAL - PLEASE DO NOT CALL AS WE ARE AWARE OF THE PROBLEM". Sure enough, as I fast forwarded from one hour to the next, I discovered that not even one pitch had been recorded. Evidently this was a problem nationwide.

Calm down, I thought to myself. I can avoid the internet, ESPN, and the news this morning until the game is rebroadcast at noon. Then I can just shut off my phone and enjoy the game as if it was live. This sounded like a good idea, so I ran with it. I made sure to keep the TV off, the phone upstairs, and the computer far away from me throughout the morning. And as the minutes slowly crept towards noon, I started getting excited about Opening Day. Sure, DirecTV screwed me, but good ol' ESPN will rebroadcast the game and I'll get to enjoy it all as if nothing ever went wrong! And when noon finally arrived, and I sat down with my noodles to watch baseball - meaningful baseball - for the first time since last October when I was at the World Series, I recoiled in horror at what I saw. While ESPN was going over the starting lineups, I glanced at the little scroll bar along the bottom of the screen, which read "AL: Boston 6, Oakland 5 - Final". These network executives are worse than Jack Cust with an 0-2 count.

It's been a long winter

Ok, time to stop pretending to be mildly interested in hockey and basketball. The Major League Baseball season kicks off in Japan in 12 hours. Ahhhh....

How Not To Defend

Thanks to collegepork.com.

Gimme the... loot?

This is one of the better dumb-crook stories I've read in a while. Two young boys, 12 and 14 years old, attempted to rob a police station in Port St. Lucie, Florida. I'm not sure what they expected to gain from their robbery, but within a minute or two they were surrounded by a half-dozen cops with weapons drawn.

The older kid was on probation. They laughed after they were arrested, saying "We're gonna be famous". 12 and 14 years old, trying to rob a police station. Someone get these kids a decent set of parents.

More Recalcitrance Than Talent

In communist China, everyone is equal! If one person gets an autograph by L.A. Dodgers Pitcher Chan Ho Park, everyone gets one! Because there are 1.3 billion people in China, there is no way to disperse those autographs. Thus, no autographs for anyone!

Seriously - let the guy sign some autographs.

There Goes The Neighborhood

About an hour and a half south of me on I-25 is the lovely town of Florence, CO. Nestled into the foothills in the shadow of Pike's Peak, the small town of Florence is best known for its United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX), known as a "Supermax" prison. The Alcatraz of the Rockies, as it is known, houses some of the most violent and dangerous criminals for whom a regular Maximum Security Prison is just not good enough. Inside the concrete walls of ADX Florence, you'll find your typical most wanted: cop-killers, inmates who have killed other inmates, and terrorists. The inmates are housed in solitary confinement for 23 hours per day in 7' by 12' rooms, in which every piece of furniture, including their bed, is made of poured concrete. Check out where these guys call home.

What I didn't know until just recently was how many well-known criminals live just a 90-minute drive away. The thought went through my brain that, hell, these guys could be in the same softball league as me. I ran with that idea, and tried to figure out just who would be on the softball team and which position would fit them best. If you don't recognize these players or you forget what they're in for, just click on their names for a news story about them. So, without further ado, I present to you the ADX Florence 2008 Summer Softball Team, The Florence Felons:

1) Robert Hanssen - SS - Leading off is the former FBI agent, who went from stealing secrets to stealing bases. And no, the SS doesn't stand for Sovietskikh Sotsialistichieskikh, this time it stands for shortstop.

2) John Walker Lindh - CF - The perfect man to cover all that ground in center is a man who spent years covering the vast mountainous terrain of northern Afghanistan. Lindh is still surprised when opposing fans boo him.

3) Zacarias Moussaoui - 1B - This guy's bat is a weapon of mass destruction, but he is always getting caught up with something right before the game.

4) Eric Rudolph - LF - Batting cleanup, Mr. Rudolph is now hitting bombs, instead of just detonating them.

5) Richard Reid - 3B - Every time he slides, it's cleats up - constantly trying to hurt people with his shoes.

6) Terry Nichols - RF - From crazy right-winger to crazy right fielder, Nichols is involved in the game planning but is always far from the action on the field.

7) Anthony Casso - 2B - Not a great defensive second-baseman, you'd think he'd be able to flip the ball better.

8) Ramzi Yousef - C - From Praise Allah to Base Ballah.

9) Ted Kaczynski - P - "The Professor" is known to write delusional manifestos to opposing hitters before games. He relies on two things; his Harvard education to plan his game-strategy, and his signature pitch, the screwball. He is a bit of a recluse around the locker room, however.

The team is managed by Omar Abdel-Rahman, who never seems to know what's going on in the game. And there you have it.

Oz. of Au for a K

Gold reached $1,000 an ounce today, which is bad news for those of us looking at wedding rings (although platinum is looking nicer and nicer). Precious metals do better (the price increases) with rising inflation (up a full point in January alone). The thing that seems out of whack to me is the rate at which gold has increased. It is up 20% in 2008 so far, and it rose another 32% in 2007. In 2002, gold was $278.20 an ounce. As you can see from the chart above, gold has steadily increased over three-and-a-half times from '02 to today. In other words, if you invested $1000 in gold at it's low point in 2002, you would now have $3,595. That's nothing to laugh at. What other investment could more than triple in less than 6 years?

With oil now up around $110 a barrel, the dollar hitting it's lowest point against the yen in 12 years and a record low against the euro, and the fed rumored to be cutting rates again on March 18, it's time to start seriously worrying about the state of our economy. I'm not sure about you, but my pay raises aren't going up a percentage point a month. Here is my plea to Ben Bernanke: let the economy go through it's natural cycles. Stop with the sudden rate adjustments. The housing bubble burst, there is a "credit crunch", we can deal with it. What we do not need is an incompetent Federal Reserve adding to inflation to somehow steer us away from a natural recession. Let the recession hit. Recession is better than stagflation, Bernanke, and it's better than depression. President Bush, what impact with your $600-per-family tax rebate drop of water have on the vast ocean of our multi-trillion dollar economy? Seriously - let people control their own finances, let people take responsibility for bad decisions, prosecute lenders who break laws, but otherwise leave the economy alone. It will right itself. If you really want to help, Mr. President, take those $600 checks, combine them, and create a lucrative salary package to coax Alan Greenspan out of retirement.

Client 9

On Wednesday, Eliot Spitzer's inflatable human-suit announced that it will be resigning as governor of the state of New York.

The people of New York are left wondering how an upstanding politician such as "Spitz" even comes in contact with high-priced prostitution rings.

To the right of Mr. Spitzer's man-suit stands the lovely Silda Wall Spitzer, two-and-a-half diamond quality. Eli, why go out for filet mignon when you have petit filet at home? Silda looks weary in this pic, but check out New York's first lady here - come on, Spitz... At least Larry Craig had his excuse.

Typo Eradication Advancement League

Check out the website of the month, TEAL. These guys are driving around the country documenting typos on signs, menus, posters, etc. The reason this site is funny is because they're actually fixing the typos with their correction kits of white-out, sharpies, and colored markers. Then, they take pictures of the fixed typographical errors and post it to their blog. Funny stuff here. Even NPR thinks so.

The Mosh Pit was Lame

Abby and I went to see Billy Joel last week for her birthday. Aside from that "Heart Attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack" song and the a cappella, Longest Time, I didn't know any Billy Joel songs at all. Ok, I knew We Didn't Start the Fire too, because when we were in grade school we used to sing "I didn't fart, you liar. It was just a breeze I didn't squeeze the cheese." But aside from those, I had no idea what we were in for. I had lumped the Piano Man in with Elton John and Jimmy Buffett (yeah - quite a range) as kitschy pop rock that fell somewhere between "We appreciate your patience, please continue to hold..." muzak and typical top-40 hits a la 1983. I went into the show prepared for three hours of boredom, and I ended up being dead wrong.

You can't underestimate the old boozebag. He's been around for decades for a reason. Billy Joel plays the hell out of the piano - and the guy is a hell of a songwriter. I can say without embellishment that I've never heard anyone grind on keys in person like he did. They started the show with the sick, rhythmic piano-intro to Angry Young Man (check it out live here), and then went on to My Life, which I'm sure everyone knows. I was surprised that I recognized almost half of the songs, like Piano Man, Tell Her About It, Uptown Girl, and Only The Good Die Young, not to mention the song I could have sworn was from The Lion King, River of Dreams (In the Middle of the Night). The guy is a prolific songwriter to be sure.

This show marked the first time I've watched an entire performance while sitting in my seat. It also marks the first time I've been embarrassed to admit I had a great time. Billy Joel. I never thought that things would go this far. By the way, if anyone can find the link to the Saturday Night Live skit where Horatio Sanz plays Billy Joel driving his daughter home shitfaced, please let me know.

Grumpy Old Men

In an effort to get a bit older at linebacker, the New England Patriots offered a contract to former Miami linebacker Zach Thomas yesterday. Thomas, who has 1,639 career tackles, will turn 35 years old during the upcoming season. The guy is a tackling machine and a future hall-of-famer, but he's never scored a touchdown, and perhaps would be attracted by Belichick's now obvious trick offensive plays that allow guys like Mike Vrabel to catch short TD passes. Either way, Thomas would be joining Tedy Bruschi (34 years old) and Junior Seau (39 years old) to make up the Thin Grey Line of defense. Perhaps they could also coax Andre Tippett out of retirement.

Red Dusk?

I try to stay away from politics here at Fool's Platinum, for two reasons: no one cares about my political opinions (nor yours) and the internet already has an overabundance of rabid partisans eager to gnash their obtuse teeth into the tender neck of any controversy (to the left and to the right of you), to the hurrah's of their equally partisan choir. But hopefully the passing of the Fidel Castro-era in Cuba is something all freedom-loving people can celebrate, whether the flag they're flying is red or blue. Unless you happen to be a misguided American professor defending tyranny ("Many in the West think that the [Cuban government] controls the newspapers. In fact, the state prohibits the private ownership of newspapers."), that is.

With the announcement today that Fidel Castro is resigning the presidency of Cuba, the future of that country is uncertain. The US will likely not lift its trade embargo (sorry cigar aficionados) and Fidel's younger brother Raul looks likely to take the reigns of the Cuban horse-and-buggy, if only for a temporary period (Raul is 76 years old). Yet the fall of Castro (pictured at right) more than anything else represents hope for Cuba's masses.

For those unfamiliar with Fidel's nearly fifty-year reign of terror (or who feel sympathetic to Fidel's revolution against dirty streets and economic progress), below is a partial listing of what Fidel's brand of utopia has brought Cuba's citizens. In fairness, pre-Fidel Cuba was not much better, having never enjoyed the luxury of a stable government without massive corruption. However, Fidel's cure was more painful than the illness. Here are some of Fidel's more notable accomplishments:

• Between 12,000 and 15,000 political dissidents murdered by the Cuban government, including 4,000 killed by firing squads in the first three years after the revolution.
• A cessation of individual rights, including the right to organize, the right to travel, the right to own property, the right to speak freely against the government, and even the right to use the internet.
• An excellent state-run health care system, as long as you aren't Cuban.
• Since the State is the highest power, God has been outlawed.
• Free education! All you have to do is work in the fields for 30 days each year without pay, starting in seventh grade.
• Raise your children how you see fit. But if you teach them about God, democracy, or anything contrary to the teachings of Communism, you will go to jail for three years. You may be the child's parents, but the State is the child's true father.

There are some who claim that Fidel was not a dictator. They claim that the only reason he is portrayed as such by the US is because he nationalized all of those US-owned industries back in 1960 and took all those rich Americans' money. Those apologists are flatly wrong. Let's take a look our friend-o and decide for ourselves whether he's a dictator. Leader of a state dressing in drab military garb? Check. Long-winded, four-hour speeches about the "revolution", decades after the last bullet was fired? Check. The national military a constant presence in city streets enforcing local laws? Check. Taking power by force, and keeping it for decades without free elections? Check. The ultimate irony - the outlawing of any criticism against the ruling powers and any political dissent? Check. Yeah, this guy isn't a dictator. He's a Salvador!

If you are interested, Cuba Verdad is an excellent site that details the horrors of Cuba under Fidel Castro. With Castro's passing, I'm hoping Cuba Verdad becomes obsolete. There's no telling where Cuba will go from here, but at least there's hope now. Hope for freedom and justice, hope for the people Fidel was supposed to help the most - the poor, the oppressed, the people unlucky enough to find themselves outside of Castro's group of friends. And I'll be hoping that every last member of Castro's regime will "resign" from power. Will the last communist out of Cuba please apague las luces?

Second Question

As pitchers and catchers report to spring training, the Rockies will have basically the same position players we saw last year, with one glaring omission: Kaz Matsui was signed by the Astros in the offseason. This leaves Clint Hurdle with two questions: who will bat second (or lead off if Taveras is hurt again), and who will man second base? The first question is the easier one: I'm guessing they move Tulo back to the second spot in the lineup, so the potential lineup going into the season will look something like this:

1. Willy Taveras
2. Troy Tulowitzki
3. Matt Holliday
4. Todd Helton
5. Garrett Atkins
6. Brad Hawpe
7. ? (2B)
8. Yorvit Terribleba

As you can see, I assume an unknown second-baseman will bat higher than Yorvit. But the question mark at second remains: Who can replace the speed (32 stolen bases) and defense of Kaz Matsui? Let's not forget that among National League starters, Kaz' .992 fielding percentage was tops. Kaz was instrumental in the Rockies record-setting team defense in '07, and he was half of the vicious combo (with Tulo) that knocked out 84 double plays in 102 games. The Astros got a defensive stud to complement Tejada at short, and the Rockies now have a gaping hole at second. Thus far, the Rox have two perennial backups, Omar Quintanilla and Clint Barmes, vying for the 2B job - and unless they blow up in spring training, I don't see either of them starting the season at second. So it comes down to the three other second base options: Ian Stewart, Jayson Nix, and Marcus Giles.


Although there's been more talk about Nix, you have to call Stewart (pictured at right) an early front-runner for the spot. A former first-round draft pick, Stewart was considered one of the Rockies top prospects before a pair of mediocre seasons in the minor league system. He bounced back in Colorado Springs last year, hitting .304 with 15 hr, 65 rbi, and an .857 OPS. He's been a third baseman throughout his (young) career, so he'll need to impress at second in spring training before Clint will feel comfortable starting him there on opening day. He will be at least as good as Kaz with his bat (and will hit a hell of a lot more long-balls), and we can expect about half as many steals as Kaz had last year. But the defense is still a question. It'll be interesting to see how Stewart handles himself at second throughout spring training.

Jayson Nix is another former first-round pick, and based on the early chatter on local sports stations, he'd be starting at second if the season started today. Nix is the closest thing the Rockies have to the Kaz mold, as he is fast (39 steals in 50 attempts over the last two seasons in AAA) and he knows how to play second. He also hit a respectable .292 in 439 at bats last year.

Marcus Giles, the old man of the group at age 29, is a Non-Roster Invitee, but if Nix and Stewart don't work out at second, Giles has the experience. The bat is a huge concern, as this guy's batting average has been dropping thirty points each season, with a disgusting .229 average and .621 OPS in 420 at bats last year. The defense is ok, with a career .982 fielding pct at second. There's also an outside chance that we'll see Jeff Baker take second base. Baker has never played second in the majors, and he hasn't done much with the bat while he's been in Denver, but he hit .305 with 20 hr and 108 rbi in his last full AAA season, 2006.

Over the next six weeks, I'm sure a clearer picture will emerge, but at this point I'm guessing we'll see Nix starting the season at 2B, mostly based on his defense. In other news, I added two new links on the left-hand side of Fool's Platinum: An excellent Rockies blog, Purple Row, that I can't believe I just found, as well as my old reliable online statistics warehouse, Baseball Reference.

The Ronnie James Dio Show

Thank god New England's own Dio left Elf, Rainbow, and Black Sabbath to start his own band. A cartoon shadow superimposed over flowing lava, rats in a dungeon, and Mr. Dio Himself slaying some viking/cave-man from the middle ages. Best video ever.

A Coen Brothers Valentine

Go see No Country for Old Men (click the link for the trailer). Typical of Coen bros. creations, it's a movie that you watch, you take it all in, you consider it slightly above average at the time, and then you can't stop thinking about it for the following week (much like Fargo and Big Lebowski). It has that same Coen brothers artsy anti-climactic plot structure that is just enjoyable to watch. Great acting, great story, great directing - I considered this a 6 out of 10 when I got out of the theater, but after having it bounce around inside my skull for the last week I upped it to an 8 or 9. Just don't expect to be blown away right after you see it - it takes a few days to really sink in. Watch it and you'll see what I mean.

Shot in the Neck

Those of us who were in college during the heyday of Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64 know that it will go down in history as one of the funnest multi-player games of all time. We also know that it has been copied over and over, but nothing will be as great as the original. And we all have secretly wished there was a building designed just like the Bunker level, complete with regenerating body armor and random weapons stashed around, where we could battle our buddies in real life.

Well, there's nothing like that. Grow up.

Fortunately, there's something close: Paintball. I had never been paintballing before my buddy's Bachelor Party back in Boston last month. Being January, we went to an indoor course at Boston Paintball in Somerville. The place is spread out in a 31,000 square-foot gymnasium with large blow-up padded obstacles peppered throughout. The ground is coated with a thin layer of paint, and it's damn slippery. Two teams of equal numbers square off at opposite sides of the field and slowly move toward the center, knocking out opposing members by shooting them with the paint, within the three-minute time limit. Most games don't last that long, though.

If you've never been paintballing, you gotta try it. I can't believe how much fun it was to run around, dive behind obstacles, and use cover techniques with your teammates. I imagine anyone with a military background would kick ass at paintball, but for unathletic civilians like yours truly, it's still a blast. We played about six or seven games, and no one was really keeping score. In fact, after you were knocked out, you stopped caring about who won. The last game came down to my now-married buddy and me squaring off behind an obstacle. As we shot towards each other, my gun jammed and his didn't - he got me in the neck, right under the helmet. Good stuff. Paintball is a great idea for a bachelor party. And a whole lot of fun.

I'm Back, Baby

So for those of you who know me, every January I take a sabbatical to spend some time meditating, playing croquet, and trying my hand at fashion design. Well, I'm back now, and I'm full of energy ready for another 11 months. So expect some more regular blog activity here at Fool's Platinum. And in the meantime, here's a picture of Abby and I swimming at her mom's Lake house over the holidays.

What the hell just happened?

Talk about anti-climactic. The Giants are world champions? The team that won 3 games at home all year? The Pats are no longer the best team in history? What? That drooling kid with a severe underbite and an extra chromosome is the MVP? What?

Seriously... what?

Don't want to talk about missed opportunities, don't want to talk about Asante Suckuel, don't want to talk about a complete failure to alter the game plan after the NY def consisted of rushing 6-8 guys every play. It's called a screen pass. It's called a draw play. It's called a three-step drop. Don't want to talk about Tom screaming at Welker for no reason. Don't want to talk about going for on 4th and 13 when a field goal is 49 yards away. Didn't they lose by a field goal?

Belichick was quoted after the press conference as saying "Well, you can't spy on Karma." Bill, the 2008 season starts today. Anything less than 19-0 will be a major disappointment. And let's play by the god damn rules this time. Hopefully in '08 my two teams won't both lose in the championship like in '07. When does spring training start?